discombobulated. *2018 year review 👏👏*

Right here is a picture of me sitting down on the floor missing the bench for sitting, missing its sole purpose.

Discombobulated.

adjective // upsetting feeling; confusion.

No, I didn't think of a deep word just to make the whole thread seem fancy and all. Besides, it has become one of my favorite words since it basically just defines me, and to what I feel today.

As I'm writing the thoughts of my mind while waiting for the reply of someone I care about, I perhaps just wrote this piece for the sake of extracting what bothers me in my mind right now.

It has been quite a ride this year. No, not because I cut me and my old friend's means of communication and ending up with a thin-yet-sophistical-chance of actually feeling happy, well, as it looks like it does.

Geez, when will they ever make the next part of this movie? This has been in my head for the rest of 2018.

Happiness?

I wouldn't know. I would watch all the MCU movies within a week and I couldn't tell if I were happy about the stories I have watched. Iron Man felt so good, and then Infinity War had me..

I don't feel so good..

It's that same thing! Over and over and over. Not. Feeling. So. Good.

I guess I could kind of relate to that now, couldn't I? I'm a man of simple words but sometimes I create impressions that you probably wouldn't understand unless you close your mind to random ideas and just start to listen. Get that? That was all adlib, hehe.

What do I know? I don't know a lot, not so much, exactly. I just keep learning, yet I keep forgetting the things I know. Education? It really isn't set to let you know about things, rather it's in our temperament, education is learning about things. Application, understanding, situated activities, these are the fruits of education.

Now forgive me if I stalled away from Thanos and his nutsack of a chin right on his face, you can't just bully him for a couple of hours just for him to teach the Avengers a lesson by snapping his fingers and--

it was the only way.....

Oops.

Balance.

Yeah, Thanos probably saved half of the population of the world probably because our food and energy supply would soon be unavailable. Thanks, Mad Titan.

That puts a smile on his face.

Balance is merely the same as regulation. When I say merely, it doesn't mean it is totally the same, okay? Not too much.

Anyway, how was regulation a huge factor for me this year? Well, I could say I have divided my time doing a lot of things that I shouldn't probably be doing, or even talking to some people I never should have met in the first place.

Regulation is merely the same as management too.

I had the time to study, and when I had the time to keep myself calm for a bit, I do something useful for me, personally, or sometimes for school, too.

I was able to make a magazine within 2 days. It was awful. HAHA

Yeah, the DSPC thing is fun and all, but it was eating my time too much I had little time for the other stuff I also had to do. I'm not saying I am not proud of an accolade as simple as this, but I don't think I'll ever be in such a mood to do something as time-consuming as this. It was fun to release my creativity and put it into something (actually) useful. Haha.

I should've been a part of this. smh

Discovery.

Ain't it weird when you actually discover lots of new things about yourself, and those discoveries are where you are actually good at? I had lots of realizations like that this year. I had the ability to give good advice to a lot of people, I could talk to girls as sincerely and as friendly as I could to boys, and I had the talent to actually show up at school and show people what I could do!

I made this, hey guys

Trust me, if a magazine wasn't enough for the take, a poster would be much harder of a task. I made the magazine within a day, and this poster? 

A week. Good golly. 👻

The poster was significantly relevant to me, however, because imagine two of the now-famous new-generation OPM bands would be in a concert right inside your school grounds. As I made the poster, it was too huge of a responsibility to be able to captivate other people so that they would go to the said event.

By the way guys, here's the ticket for our upcoming Youthfest, entitled, "resilience".

Tickets are still available!

One ticket costs Php 400. Buy five tickets, get one free! (offer exclusive only for Bosconians so if I were you ask some Bosconian dude to buy loads of tickets just for you)

I just advertised, bam. 😂

Back-to-back.

The power of consistencies.

Ain't it fun when you won something last time and for another time you have won the same award? What I feel is that the more you get of the same award, the higher the value.

That was a math joke. (because a same amount times two is 2x, hehe)

We won back-to-back on the Cheerdance Competition!! Hurray 👏very👏cool👏

No, seriously though, it was great to win the award for two years in a row after having 4th-4th-3rd-3rd standings years before.

Take that L, Grade 11.

oh, hi Zeman and Srugi friends we beat them anyway lmao

These guys.

We survived the first semester complete as a class! Hurray! 👏👏

Man, that was tough. We may only have a semester to go in the school year (that's 5 months left) so we better finish strong, and of course, complete.

It was a little rugged at first since we were called out to be the noisy people alongside the third section at the second floor end of the building.

We were excited! Let us be. Plus, we did you a favor last year so can we do our own this year, even the slightest, can we? Please? 👶

Kidding aside, hopefully this class would make it out the best and proudest way possible. Excelsior!

aleks ibon

This is just an appreciative part of my post so you could skip this part:

this is Alex. she's laughing because there's lots of balloons around her. she's also laughing because she wants a picture. so her frend took the picture and boom you have alex smiling picture with balloons. and she let me edit it without giving proper credit and payment. hirap mag-edit doi

Kidding aside, she has been my best friend for the 2nd half of the year, and I'm really thankful for having able to meet someone as (weird) as I am. May jowa na rin siya okay wag kayong praning ship na ship ko sila.

lul ibon pag nabasa mo to libre muna

for M.

It wasn't really my intention to meet someone as genuine as you. You may be moody in a lot (as in, a LOT) of ways, but that never made me stop caring about you. People tell me you're weird, and sometimes I think, maybe they're right. Just a bit, though. What makes me fall for your weirdness is that when we walk together at times inside a mall, or around the path, the voice of your amazement makes me flutter: as if your voice warms my heart to make it softer.

We were never supposed to meet. I admit it. Perhaps my 7 friends would tend to realize how much of a catastrophe they have caused 5 months after we bumped into one another while the first words I spat out were, "wala na, finish na", causing you, me, and my pals into a shameful pit of laughter. Sentimental, iconic, cringy, yet it was what started all of this.

Though T, P, M, and the others would seem to play some sort of backup role which I don't know exactly what they told you to do or how they reacted to all of this but I'm pretty sure they made a huge impact to what we have right now, too.

I'm not perfect, I'm not your ideal guy, I keep making adjustments for you to like me the way I do to you but I just end up messing things around and screwing it all up causing our little misunderstandings and fights. I'm sorry for pretending to be something I am not, I can not, and 

Lost, profound confusion.

What?

2018 was better than 2017, for me. People may say it was a sad, cold, depressing, terrible, unsatisfying, broken, irrelevant year, but we got to stick to what matters the most, the changes.

I was able to spot my differences, my changes, and my discoveries this year. These things that I learned this year would for sure, carry out for the following years, but who am I kidding, shouldn't yours follow too?

Let all the negative vibes go this year because within 13 days time, 2018 would leave this world chat and pave the way for 2019, hopefully a much better year for everyone in the world.

Remember, keep smiling.

Confusion is just a thing that won't keep your mind straight, but here's what you got to do:

always keep something in your mind.

It builds up your focus, and what's focused on is always relevant, avoiding that confusion which would make you feel discombobulated. Keep smiling! When you're feeling sad and down, always think of someone who would brighten your day. It won't always have to be the same person, but sometimes, a happy pill won't be enough to just have a supply of (1) pill.

Pick the good people!

It's been a great year, cheers to the next! 🙏

thank you for reading 😘

Debid, '18